For the first time in Matilda's little life I really lost it with her. And how guilty do I feel? Guilty beyond words. I know I was right to be upset with her, she has to learn how to respect her things as well as ours, yet knowing this does not ease the self reproaching.
My anger took over and she was shouted at and ordered to her room. I gave her a bath and dressed her in silence, then made her sit on the sofa to await the arrival of Daddy with her broken toy.
Following his arrival and confirmation that she was indeed a naughty girl, she was sent to bed without stories. Her little face cried out remorse, she knew she had done wrong. Makes me feel no less guilty for having shouted at her. I'm probably feeling this way, because I always try to explain a situation calmly and rationally, but this time I just couldn't believe the complete destruction of this one toy. As a child I didn't have a great deal so I looked after the few toys I had, thankfully she has so much more. However, I cannot have her growing up taking everything for granted compounded by her being an only child.
I'm guessing this is just the beginning of our Mother-Daughter disagreements. They'll be plenty more in the future. I just hope she'll always remember that I'm her friend and would give up my life for her in an instant, my love for her is immeasurable.
Hopefully the morning will bring with it a renewed friendship, it's nothing a good night's sleep won't heal. And as I always used to say to my Mum after an argument 'We friends again now?'.